*i pray that no one pukes where they aren't suppose to puke*
*i pray that at least the drivers are not wasted tonight*

*i swear we will not puke in the suite tonight*
*goodbye*
*good night*
*hic hic hic*

when you told me that you still loved me...i fell to my knees...i let go a huge sigh of relief...it was a saving grace for my soul and sanity...i had almost given up hope for 'us'...almost given up fighting what i believed in...is this a sign for me to continue to fight for 'us'...to fight for you...i know this may sound crazy to everyone around me...this may sound crazy to you too...but the fight for you is all that i have ever known...till this day you still make me feel the same every time we talk...i know we shouldn't be talking bout 'us'...but i can't help it...i want you back in my arms so badly...i admit in the pass i was overprotective and jealous...but i just can't help it...its you...when one haves someone like you in his arms...the last thing that he wants is to loose you...i just hope that things will work out soon...that things will be back to the way it used to be...back to when we were lovers...

*The Carnival*

"I feel like I'm at some maligned carnival where the people on the ride were really screaming, the people lost in the mirror maze were really lost, and the denizens of Freak Alley looked at you with false smiles on their lips and terror in their eyes. It was a carnival all right; the carnival of lost souls."

...freaky huh...thought it was kinda cool...got a week of holiday to recuperate...hopefully I'll get back to my normal self...pray for my soul would you...muahahahaha...feeling GOTHIC...

You keep coming into my head,
I try to block you out but it hurts so bad,
Feels as though my soul is dead,
Just thinking of what both of us had.

I think of you during the long hours of the day,
And during the lonely nights i dream of you,
I blame myself for chasing you away,
I hate myself for letting you go.

I pray for this pain to go away,
Feels as though a thousand knives have stabbed my heart,
I so want you to stay right here by me,
Cause only you can save me from this pain.

The happiness you want so badly,
I hope i can give to you before i go crazy,
What about my happiness you ask,
It is your happiness that i care not of mine.

You keep saying it's not my fault,
And yet I still blame myself,
Day after day I hate myself more,
Day after day I love you more.

Been feeling just like the weather lately...hot then cold...dry then wet...fucked up then even more fucked up...yeah...will try to upload happier stuff in due time...

WHOA...EH FUCK YOU LA!!!....yup thats all for today...