*ironic???*
*what are the chances?*
*OH FUCK......*
*imagine if this person had a kid =.= *
*his last words were "MOMMYYYY" *
*hie whats your name?....chew what..?? *
*Getting ready for "HER"*
*Feeling the effects of HER*
You answered my call today…but I wasn’t sure if you knew it was me…you were half asleep…I wonder how you are able to sleep at night…cause I haven’t been able to sleep at all…every time I close my eyes it is you that I see…you staring back at me…you smiling ever so sweetly…I so want to reach out and embrace you…so badly want to feel your warm touch that always made my heart melt…so desperately need for you to whisper in my ear and tell me that everything is going to be alright…it hurts when I close my eyes…it hurts even more when I just lay there without you by my side…you were always there for me no matter what…you were my everything…you still are my everything…but when you left…my heart left with you…when you left…I my soul left with you…when you left…I lost everything…goodbye my love…
You called me…I was afraid to answer your call…I was petrified…but I answered…and just by hearing your voice…the knives in my heart stopped twisting…it felt so much more better…as though I knew everything was going to be alright…I asked you whether if there was a chance for us to work things out…I so wanted you to say “YES” but in the back of my mind I knew what the answer was…but you can’t blame me for asking, I had to try, I just couldn’t give up without a fight…at least now I can let you go…at least now I know you’ll be alright…I know you’ll be happy…that is all I want for you…until I have the courage to see you again…goodbye my love…
Before I let go of your hand to cross the road I remember someone telling me something along the line of “be careful, make sure you don’t let her go…I’m sure you know that feeling of losing someone”…it was a sign…a STOP sign telling me not to let go of your hand to cross the road…but I was blind, I was ignorant and worst of all I took everything for granted…especially you…I know it’s a little too late to apologize but I still have to say it…I’m sorry and I hope one day you’ll forgive me for all my mistakes…for all my flaws…this feeling I have when I’m on this bus ride…it feels familiar…just that I haven’t felt this way in a very long time because you have always been there to protect me from it…I’m not really sure of what I’m feeling or why I’m feeling this way…its sitting in this bus by myself that make me feel this way…its only when no one is around that I feel this way…when you’re not around that I feel this way…I guess after being protected for so long one would feel vulnerable went left to fend on his own…as I stay on this ride down this unfamiliar path I look back on the memories…look back on the happy, the sad and the unforgettable moments and eventually the day all these nightmares started…I keep on thinking what I did or did not do enough…keep on thinking whether you know how much I love you…keep on thinking whether you still love me…it eats at my soul slowly bit by bit and from time to time it attacks my heart…making this pain just so much more unbearable…but every night before I sleep…all I can think of is you…that’s what I always did…I wonder how you are feeling…wonder if you are alright…wonder if its me you are thinking about…wonder when all this pain is going to end…goodbye my love…
I’m still on that bus that hit me…I’m just too afraid to get off…too afraid to take the next step on my own…talked with a lot of people…a few friends got onto ride with me for awhile but they got off after awhile…at times when I was alone I would pick up my phone and call you…but I just couldn’t get through…I’m afraid to call too many times…I know you need your space and I don’t want to look too obsessive either…but the problem is no matter how many friends I talk to…however long I talk to them…in the end I only want to talk to you…I only want to hear your voice…I’m starting to familiarize myself around this bus…I just sit in my place not daring to move just getting enough courage to look around once in awhile…when I look around all I see is empty faces…emotionless, lifeless and soulless…is that what this ride does to someone who has ridden it for too long? will I ever be able to get of this ride or just turn into a “faceless”…yeah that’s what I call them…that’s the only way to describe them…I keep on thinking of reasons you won’t answer my calls…I keep blaming myself for letting you go…but that was all I could do…cause I want you to be happy…whatever it may cost me…if sitting on this bus forever and eventually becoming a “faceless” is what makes you happy then so be it…I’m not sure why I’m telling you my feelings this way…I guess it’s the only way I can explain what’s happening to me…sooner or later I’ll find out what this bus ride means…I hope…but till then I hope that I’ll be able to call you once in awhile…goodbye my love…
